Taking a short hiatus…need a breather 😓

Taking a short hiatus…need a breather 😓

A short note..

taking time off facebook and twitter for a few days … I need a ‘time out’ … I heard some very upsetting news yesterday and im sad and angry because of it. It affects someone i care and respect a great deal. I’m there to support him and if anyone has any concerns dm me on twitter or send a message via my ‘contact me’ page on this blog…

I have to also focus on Ray’s home care situation starting next week plus christmas etc in coming weeks.

Take care…see you all soon…


Homecare update!

Homecare update!

“Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can!”

Continuing on from here:

read this first if unfamiliar with the situation…


So Ray’s homecare will officially start on Monday. It will be Mon, Weds and Fridays from about 11am-3pm (up to 4 hours per day max).

This will include assitance for lunch, shower, and dressing. I think this is really fantastic. It will help me out quite a bit as most days i have enough energy to just feed him dinner and help him to bed after being at work all day.

Realistically we should have done this a long time ago!!!

Will give further update on Friday after the first week of visits!

Frustrated .. but grateful .

Frustrated .. but grateful .

I have decided to stick with love, hate is too great a burden to bear.

Dr Martin Luther King Jr

I started posting this on twitter but felt i needed to bring it here and add to it . This is in a few categories because I think it warrants it . Please bare with me. I think with sharing my worries it may help others going thru it .. I certainly hope so!

Ok well i will vent something out, apparently just after i left for work earlier tonight Ray hurt his back,he suffered thru it .He didn’t call me and what’s worse when our son got home from work with Emma tonight he did NOT tell him either! It frustrates me when he does this!!


And he didn’t tell me until he was just about to go to bed either …

You all must think I am ready for ‘men in white coats’ to come take me away eh? Sometimes I wonder too .. I need to start using my blog again to put these thing down . I really do love him but im so scared of coming home and finding him lying on the floor or worse.


I know each day I am still grateful to have him… After 28 years married i don’t know how i am going to carry on alone .. (yeah i know i have my kids etc .. it’s not the same) ..I have to remind myself to just live in the present and not worry about that too much right now.

The past two months I have been one huge ball of anxiety mixed with bitterness and anger added onto it .. I have been lashing out at people too .. both at home, work and online . And my patience with others was not as it usually is …(well it’s still not the best to be truthful) .. I may read my friends posts on FB and Twitter but i haven’t commented or liked a lot of them .. I feel like i really do not want to infuse my negativity on them .

I even ended up taking my anger out on my son .. now he has been feeling depressed too so we did it to each other … :/

It didn’t seem very fair to do that to people i really do care about and they have been very patient and understanding with me . But some of them are going thru some tough times of their own and i don’t wish to add to that with my own problems.

So i am going to try to take each day at a time and be grateful for what i do have and can accomplish .. I have to stop feeling like I am useless ( and i feel quite invisible sometimes too)

All of this had left Ray feeling quite sad and depressed too .. and when we saw his Neurologist a week ago she could see it with both of us. She is referring Ray to get accessed for homecare, ( She strongly told Ray .. ‘Your Wife needs help’ !!) She is also setting us up with a Social Worker in their department to see what they do can do to help both of us manage our depression and anxiety. Now these referrals may take a few weeks ( could be just before the end or into January of 2020 before we get any replies … but knowing its in the works has helped me feel a bit better about it)

Ray’s reluctantly agreed to do all this but i can tell he as misgivings … but I have gotten to the point where i need to tap into resources to manage this .. I cannot do this on my own anymore, and to be truthful I have done it must longer than I should have ..

I left this open for edit.

Weds afternoon we got a call from Homecare. They are coming Dec 3rd to discuss, and implement a care plan for Ray, and to give me small breaks as well. Any small thing will help! …

To be continued …

Canada Votes!

Canada Votes!

So Justin Trudeau and his Liberals retain power…but with less teeth.!

In Canada’s Parliament a Political Party needs a minimum of 170 Seats to win a Majority.. Trudeau has been reduced from 177 to 155….Ouch!

He will need the support of one other Party to be able to govern effectively.

Speculations are he may get this from NDP leader Jagmeet Singh. ..

The Liberals lost a lot of confidence in Western Canada…even more so we feel very ‘neglected’ by federal leaders in Ottawa.

Many jobs were lost in the Oil and Gas Sector with huge delays on the building of pipelines.

Mr Trudeau was very damaged by the SNC-Lavelin scandal and the ensuing aftermath…

More info here Here .

Meanwhile ..not all is Rosy for Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer…he picked up roughly 20 more seats then Harper won in 2015… most in Saskatchewn and Alberta…

More on Andrew Sheer.
and info on the Conservative Leader here .

It will be interesting to see how Trudeau’s Minority Government will procede in future.

And it progresses…

And it progresses…

Ray’s condition progresses more last two weeks…he’s more ‘slumped over’ in a chair now…His balance is getting much worse…in a year I can see him confined to a wheel chair… Positive Vibes needed … how to I find more strength ???

Somehow …. 💔

I’ll update more soon…I know it’s been a VERY long hiatus….

Is Parkinson’s Hereditary? The Role of Genetics in Parkinson’s Disease

Is Parkinson’s Hereditary? The Role of Genetics in Parkinson’s Disease

It’s very rare for Parkinson’s to be passed onto your children.

Click for more … Is it hereditary?

This made me stop and go back at the store today!

This made me stop and go back at the store today!

I’m not saying this to ‘toot my own horn’ but I felt I needed to share what happened today.

Ray and I were on our way out of the grocery store today .

We passed by one of those charity tables that you see often in stores..

This time, however, I came to a dead stop.

I cannot remember the exact name of the charity and i do not think its entirely important , but it was raising money for support for people with Mental Health, and Anxiety issues.

Now this DOES touch myself and my family greatly!!

This has been a struggle in my life and it is still ongoing.

Fighting the ‘Black Dog’ as Winston Churchill called it many years ago is somethig that is always at the back of my mind.

Sometimes it overcomes me, but I have, for the most part embraced it as a part of me.

A friend coined it like this ‘Oh, it’s you again’ ..

My point here is that I could not just ‘walk on by’ now I could only given them $4.00 this time.. next time I may contribute a little more .. or next time it could be giving a homeless person a coupon for a free coffee and fries at McDonalds so that they can go inside and stay warm and get at least something into them .. We may not be able to change their life but we can at least show some human kindness.

Of course, only if we have the means to do so .. I am not suggesting it to someone on a strict budget who cannot spare a dime .. but if we can do SOMETHING to pay it forward then i feel we must do so ..

Just something to leave you to ponder !